'Syrian refugee Kassem Eid, who survived the Ghouta sarin gas attack in 2013, says only a "miracle" can end Syria's conflict that is now in its eighth year.
Mr Eid was living in Damascus when the city was bombed with the nerve agent on August 21, 2013, which killed 1,429 people —including 426 children .
The victim-turned-fighter and activist has documented his story in a new book My Country: A Syrian Memoir, where he recounts his memories of the deadly attack and efforts to rally worldwide support.
But after "dealing with disappointment for seven years", Mr Eid conceded the country needed a "miracle" for the conflict to end.
"This is as honest as I can be because I've been trying to lobby the US Government, the EU, the United Nations — anyone who wants hear it — to just stop the war crimes in Syria and nobody's doing anything about it," he said. "I can no longer lie to myself and lie to whoever's listening to me and tell them that help is coming. I don't think any kind of help is coming, I think we just need to wait for a miracle."
Mr Eid, who remembers the day of the sarin gas attack in 2013 as "judgement day", said he would never forget the "terrifying atrocities" committed against innocent civilians in Syria.
"We never thought that we would actually wake up one day and see our own Government aeroplanes bombing us — our own tanks, our own troops who are supposed to protect us, to see them attacking us with everything they have," he said. "But after two years, when we were just starting to somehow try to accept that brutal reality, the Assad regime launched that chemical massacre against us. And we were just as shocked as anyone else in the world because we didn't think that he would take it that far."
However, Mr Eid said the bigger shock was "watching the world doing nothing to stop Assad or hold him accountable".
While former US president Barack Obama said in a 2012 press conference that the use of chemical weapons in Syria would be "a red line" and change his "calculus", Mr Eid said Mr Obama broke his promise and let Mr Assad walk away without punishment.
"It was a greenlight given to him by the international community to keep killing and bombing as many civilians as he wants with no questions," he said.
After the chemical attack, Mr Eid followed fighters of the Free Syrian Army to the front line and was "looking for some kind of justice".
"Those monsters … gassed innocent civilians right in front of me … kept bombing us and starving us for years," he said. "I just try to stop them from invading our town, and butchering children with knives like they did before and raping women like they always do every time they invade our town. And I'm very proud that I was able to somehow help stop those monsters from committing more atrocities."
The 32-year-old said he believes Syrian ally Russia has played "a very evil role" by supporting Mr Assad and giving him military, political and financial aid.
While Syria said it would commit to eradicate its chemical weapons under a US-Russian deal by mid-2014, suspected chemical attacks in Syria made international headlines in 2017 and again — but this time confirmed — this April.
"We can never trust Russia, we can never trust [Vladimir] Putin who attacked even people inside the UK with chemical weapons," Mr Eid said. "This man is the top dictator in this world and we should never trust him."
Mr Eid, born a Palestinian refugee in Syria, is now a refugee three times over after escaping to the US before eventually applying for asylum in Germany where he now lives.
As the number of casualties and massacres in Syria continue to climb, Mr Eid says he is finding hope not with policymakers but everyday people he meets while travelling the world.
"When I see someone in the United States or Europe … who doesn't know anything about what's going on, but with a simple conversation, they really feel responsible and they really want to help," he said.
"Those kinds of people, these kinds of small interactions are the only thing that actually keep hope in me." '
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